Youkai are spirits, ghosts, monsters, demons, and other supernatural creatures! They're not just folklore, they're real. They're my students, and... [ say it Haruaki say it ] my f-friends!
I am! I may not be very good at my job, and my students' grades might be some of the lowest in the school, and they may bully me because I'm a cowardly easy target, and my pay might constantly be docked, and I might want to run away and hide in my room at least once a day, but I do my best to be a teacher who guides youkai!!!
[ A beat. ]
That was so many words... did I win?
wow...u totally left me hanging on little hat...how soon u forget
(Editor's note: Sano's charm stat might as well be zero too.)
Anyway, Haruaki's big red eyes are filling with big fat tears. He clasps both hands together as if in prayer, right beneath his chin, and looks at Eren so very pleadingly. ]
Y-you... you think so? It's not enough to do your best...?
[ Haruaki sinks to the ground. Slowly. Ever so slowly.
When he hits it, he begins crawling away. ]
He's almost like a delinquent... I can't look at him...
[ Who is he talking to? Where is he going?
Underneath whatever surface he can find. A desk. A table. Whatever is there. All 188cm of him is now crouching beneath it, arms wrapped around his knees, miserable. ]
god I forgot this was in my inbox I love him so much
[You know how like when someone is hiding somewhere in a horror movie and you can just barely see the killer's footsteps from under the table as they slowly approach?]
[ He shakes his head from side to side, not daring to look at Eren. ]
I can't help it! I have a solid reputation as a cowardly loser! If you have to beat me up, please end it by kicking me in the general direction of Hyakki Academy Island so I at least have a slight chance of landing in my room where I can safely cry before work tomorrow!!
[This guy is annoying. Eren crouches down and grabs him by his collar, pulling him up so he can look him in the eye.]
We're just having a conversation, so why are you hiding under that table like I'm going to hurt you? If I wanted to kick your ass, you'd already be a bloody heap on the ground.
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[?]
You used two words.
[No, but what does that have to do with memory, though?]
...Boat.
[???]
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Is that against the rules? Did I lose already? Ohhhh nooooo––!!
[ WAIT. HE CAN RECOVER FROM THIS.
HE CLENCHES HIS FISTS IN DETERMINATION. ]
I'll do better this time, Jaeger-kun! You said boat, so I'll say...
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Beach!!!
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[Before they continue, though:]
It's just a game, so...you can relax.
[He's competitive, but...not...not against this guy.
[Back to the game--
[Eh. Well, he supposes this was always the direction they were headed...]
Sea...
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Umibozu!
[ Out of nowhere, he produces a book, flips it open to this entry and holds it out for Eren to see. Nothing will be lost in translation here! ]
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[The image is...nonsensical and baffling, but...somehow too familiar for comfort?]
What is a "youkai"?
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Youkai are spirits, ghosts, monsters, demons, and other supernatural creatures! They're not just folklore, they're real. They're my students, and... [ say it Haruaki say it ] my f-friends!
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JAEGER-KUN, THAT WAS FOUR WORDS!
say it with me now
[Really, he's just stunned.]
You're a teacher?
[That's the surprising part.]
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[ A beat. ]
That was so many words... did I win?
wow...u totally left me hanging on little hat...how soon u forget
LITTLE HAT IS FOR MUKIS ONLY
But with a charm stat of zero!!!
(Editor's note: Sano's charm stat might as well be zero too.)
Anyway, Haruaki's big red eyes are filling with big fat tears. He clasps both hands together as if in prayer, right beneath his chin, and looks at Eren so very pleadingly. ]
Y-you... you think so? It's not enough to do your best...?
IT'S NOT FOR YOU IT'S FOR HIM
Not if you're still bad at doing it.
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[ Haruaki sinks to the ground. Slowly. Ever so slowly.
When he hits it, he begins crawling away. ]
He's almost like a delinquent... I can't look at him...
[ Who is he talking to? Where is he going?
Underneath whatever surface he can find. A desk. A table. Whatever is there. All 188cm of him is now crouching beneath it, arms wrapped around his knees, miserable. ]
god I forgot this was in my inbox I love him so much
You don't actually think I can't see you, right?
Don't be so pathetic...
thank god that means i'm doing it right
EEEEEEEEEK–!!
[ He shakes his head from side to side, not daring to look at Eren. ]
I can't help it! I have a solid reputation as a cowardly loser! If you have to beat me up, please end it by kicking me in the general direction of Hyakki Academy Island so I at least have a slight chance of landing in my room where I can safely cry before work tomorrow!!
I spoke of him and rng willed it so
We're just having a conversation, so why are you hiding under that table like I'm going to hurt you? If I wanted to kick your ass, you'd already be a bloody heap on the ground.
[Is this helping?]
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He's worse than a delinquent... I'm gonna diiiiieeeee.......
this is going so badly LMAO
What's wrong with you? Stand up and quit blubbering.
I'm not going to kill you.
what are you talking about this is going great
That's what the sadists always say before they try to kill me! Please, let me go! I have so much to live for!
[ Citation needed.
Also, all 188cm of him is now wriggling wildly in Eren's grasp like a fish caught on a hook. ]
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How often do people try to kill you? Answer honestly.
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Even better news! He doesn't know how to not answer honestly. ♥ ]
At least once a day! If that doesn't happen, it feels like something is about to go wrong in my life!
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Have you considered not acting the way you act?
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A person with my sort of personality can't act any other way... This is my fate, Jaeger-kun...
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Couldn't you at least fight back?
sigh. guy who is fundamentally the opposite of eren
Do those words actually provoke a reaction to draw out...
Serious-Aki? ]
Fight back?
[ He shakes his head. ]
I'm a teacher who guides youkai. Even if you think I'm bad at my job... I don't fight against them. Isn't it better to resolve things peacefully?
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god...
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jesus christ I forgot about this
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this is such a stupid tag I hate you
you love me and you also love this
it's true